I just had a talk with the sales director of the hotel. The sales director who used to tell me how she and “The Dude” would read my site and have a good laugh. The sales director who came to me and actually started to defend her position on the new years eve debacle. I was going to not mention who the person was I talked to, but then I looked at my Standards Of Conduct and saw I didn’t have to bother.

She wasn’t even talking about the hotel directly, she was referring to my news item on the Rockford Register Star article. I hope she knows how much our conversation meant to me. I don’t write this stuff to be liked. I write it to be read. And her coming to me shows that at least one person reads my stuff. She may not like it, but you can’t please everyone can you? What validation.

What this also means is that if the sales director read it, then the rest of them have too. I wonder how the owner feels about it? Then I think to myself “I don’t really give a shit what the owner thinks do I?” Nah I don’t give a flying fuck what any of them think. If I was doing something wrong they would have fired me a long time ago, again. Wouldn’t you have? Nah and “they” know “they” can’t fire me for this web site. But you would like to wouldn’t you? Damn that Freedom Of Speech.

Anyway, the sales director also mentioned how I said the hotel didn’t get behind the Sobos when they kicked ass at football. Her pathetic excuse was that they did have GO Sobos on the great sign. Which is like really white of them seeing how they had it up for like not even twenty four hours.

The sales director informed me that her and the hotel had bought radio ads during the games and also purchased ad space in the yearbook. And I’m sorry to inform that this just isn’t good enough. Support is not buying ads that just are there to pimp the hotel. Ok? Support is the Dairy Ripple. Next time you drive by that place take a look what they have on their sign still.

You still laughing now?

Ramada’s new owners put hotel in landmark shape is a Rockford Register Star article that talks about the hotel’s new years eve party. This was a very informative news item. As the usual with this kind of thing here are the good bits:

“We were hoping to get 500 people,” said Kimberly Thompson, Ramada Inn sales director, “but we just didn’t get them.”

And here is one more quote from this article:

“This is my own personal project,” said owner Noor Tejany, who is in South Beloit for the New Year’s Eve event. “This hotel was here for 35 or 36 years. It’s a landmark to the city. We definitely want to keep it alive and bring it to the next level.”

Lets examine these quotes for a deeper meaning.

The first one “We were hoping to get 500 people but we just didn’t get them” what does that say to you? This is a quote from the sales director according to the paper. Now what is a sales director supposed to do? To me a sales director is supposed to get business to the hotel. The Rockford Register Star hits it on the head when it says:

For weeks, the hotel planned but failed to advertise its “Rockin’ New Year’s Eve Mardi Gras” party.

I would have to say that this sales director is to blame, wouldn’t you? Again this is just my opinion and I am no sales director. But who else can you blame this on? No one else except for the person who approved this half assed “Rockin’ New Year’s Eve Mardi Gras” . Can you guess who approved this fiasco?

Who do you think a sales director answers to? First would be the general manager. Why would the gm allow this mess to go on? Maybe the gm was under orders himself. So who gives the gm orders? Well look no further than the second quote taken from the paper. The owner must have let this failed party come in to creation. Why would he do this? The paper’s quote says:

“We definitely want to keep it alive and bring it to the next level.?

According to the paper this is what the owner said. Well I guess this failed “Rockin’ New Year’s Eve Mardi Gras” is his mistake. He wants to “keep it alive and bring it to the next level”, doesn’t sound like he’s doing that yet does it? In fact if you look at his quote from the paper again you may see that even the owner doesn’t have high hopes for the hotel:

“This hotel was here for 35 or 36 years”

Was here? That sentence is in the past tense. Was here? Where has it gone? Apparently even the owner of the hotel himself doesn’t have that high of hopes for his “personal project”? This isn’t a very supportive thing to say when he plans to keep it alive and bring it to the next level is it? It’s shame that a landmark of the city has to be run by the obviously incompetent. Maybe the next bunch of owners that come in when these people finally give up will do something with a landmark of the city. This statement can be the new year resolution of the hotel.

I went in to work yesterday to pick up my check and was told I had to sign a Standards Of Conduct form before I got my check. I’m always very suspicious of any actions like this by my so called superiors. Can I consider people that are stupid assholes my superiors? Anyway here are the highlights:

THESE GUIDELINES ARE PLACED IN WRITTEN FORM FOR THE BENEFIT OF YOU AND YOUR FELLOW EMPLOYEES SO THAT ALL EMPLOYEES WILL RECEIVE THE SAME FAIR TREATMENT.

A.COMMISSION OF ANY ONE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTS MAY BE CONSIDERED JUST CAUSE FOR IMMEDIATE DISMISSAL.

12. Revealing confidential information to unauthorized persons.

B.COMMISSION OF ANY ONE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTS MAY BE CONSIDERED JUST CAUSE FOR REMEDIAL ACTION WHICH COULD RANGE FROM ORAL OR WRITTEN REPRIMAND TO SUSPENSION FROM WORK WITHOUT PAY TO DISMISSAL.

15. Parking motor vehicle in other than areas designated by management.

18. Dining or snacking at any time other than during designated breaks, meal periods, or in areas other than those designated by management.

24. Making or publishing false, viscous or malicious statements concerning an employee, supervisor, the company or its food, beverages or services within hearing distance of customers.

27. Soliciting for immoral purposes or the aiding and/or abetting of such.

Whenever a possible paper trail is started I’m always wondering if “they” are out to get me. I’m one of those that looks for conspiracy everywhere. Now I picked out the ones I figure these pinheads (hiya pinhead!) would use to fire me. Again I may be reading into this more than I need to, but better safe than sorry.

Number 12. I guess if they wanted to, my telling the internet that a hotel (which I never name nor reveal its geographic location) I work at is run by morons could just be “Revealing confidential information to unauthorized persons”. I wouldn’t want the whole internet knowing I was an incompetent boss/owner. Number 12 here is grounds for IMMEDIATE DISMISSAL, oh no. Does having these warnings in caps make them followed more?

On to the lesser offenses.

Number 15. Parking motor vehicle in other than areas designated by management. Tough shit. I park out front under the overhang. I’m the “manager on duty” at night and I say it’s ok. Or you can just come out and remove my beloved “manager on duty” status.

Number 18. Dining or snacking at any time other than during designated breaks, meal periods, or in areas other than those designated by management. This one I can use the same argument as above, I’m the “manager on duty” so tough shit. The other argument on this on is just as fun. The Illinois Department of Labor ONE DAY REST IN SEVEN ACT details how employees must be given a meal period of at least 20 minutes for every 7 1/2 continuous hours or more of work. So if they even try to enforce this I’ll file a complaint. Pretty simple.

Number 24 is the big one. “Making or publishing false, viscous or malicious statements concerning an employee, supervisor, the company or its food, beverages or services within hearing distance of customers” could be my sites motto. Oops except I don’t claim any of this shit I write is the gods honest absolute truth. This shit is my opinion. And besides not to repeat myself I never even mention the specific hotel chain, names of employees or managers, or even the location of the hotel. How can you prove I’m talking about a specific hotel. For all you know I could be talking about a hotel in your town. Has expressing your opinion become an illegal act in this country? Not the last time I checked. Freedom Of Speech. Does that ring a bell? Stupid fucking muppets from foreign countries. “Within hearing distance of customers” ok the last time I checked running this site doesn’t cause any noise at all. Lucky me.

Number 27 is worded strange enough to get a mention here. Soliciting for immoral purposes or the aiding and/or abetting of such. Soliciting is a word that has a lot of meaning. Enough to kind of be the fire you for whatever we want kind of rule. Which brings us to immoral. To me this is another one that is kind of shifty. Who’s morals are we using as a baseline to judge if I’m being immoral?

Well this has gone on long enough and I do have to do some work (work=play Dark Age of Camelot) at this job of mine. If you have a thought ot opinion hit the comment link and express yourself in the forum.

Well here is another story that supports the possibility the owners are morons (note I said possibility). For a X-Mas the hotel management gave their employees Visa Gift Cards. Now this is a great idea. It’s only for ten bucks. But when your as tight as these cheapskates this is quite generous.

The problem is that when the employees try to use these 10 buck gift cards they are told the card doesn’t work. I have yet to try it. The reason is because I figured this shit would happen. Now one employee has got it to work, at the local movie theater.

So it’s either a case that the owners are possibly morons or that every local retailer in the stateline area are morons. Maybe this local movie theater employees are certified genius’s. These movie theater employees can make popcorn and split atoms. This theory explains why I saw Stephen Hawking making popcorn there.

Now put on your thinking caps, it’s science time. Occam’s Razor, ever hear of it? Here is what it is in simple terms:

All things being equal, the simplest explanation tends to be the right one.

So using Occam’s Razor what is the simplest explanation? All local retailers are morons or this new group of owners are? I will leave you to figure this out for yourself.

Here is a neat memo from the Owner. Remember that my special sarcasm filter is on. Now I thought it was pretty nice of them to offer this service to this <Name Removed>. Right below is the almost unaltered memo (names removed for my protection and theirs), right after that is the same memo with comments generated by the universal bullshit translator.

Here’s the original:

December 28, 2002
To: Front Desk
From: <Name Removed>
RE: Instructions for Security

<Name Removed> has requested that <Name Removed> is provided security from 3:30 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. while she sells tickets until security leaves the premises. <Name Removed> will be contacting the front desk for this purpose at 3:15 q.m. each morning. Please make sure Security is waiting for <Name Removed> in the morning.

Thank You,

<Name Removed>

Here is my copy ran through the universal bullshit translator (the translator’s output will be in bold):

December 28, 2002
To: Lowly Peons
From: Your God
RE: Instructions for Security

Your God has requested that Some High Up Flunky is provided security from 3:30 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. (we don’t give a shit if the rest of the hotel has security) while she sells tickets until security leaves the premises. Some High Up Flunky will be contacting the Lowly Peons (who we deem does not need security) for this purpose at 3:15 q.m. each morning. Please make sure Security (because Security has nothing better to do) is waiting for Some High Up Flunky in the morning. From here on in Security’s title is Babysitter.

Thank You,

Your God

I personally find this amusing. I mean it’s not like I was robbed before or anything. It makes me wonder if these people give a shit about their employee’s. I think they don’t even give one shit. What can you do?

This was the funniest piece of spam I have ever had the privilege to delete. It’s like something out of a Saturday Night Live skit. The e-mail address of the sender was coloncleanse2abu@excite.com. Colon Cleanser would be the name of the supposed product, huh? Here is the spam in it’s entirety (and it’s long):

From: coloncleanse2abu@excite.com
Subject: Bowels, How do you Clean them?

Let me ask you this…which is worse?

A. The engine on your Lexus freezes up at 160,000 miles instead of 300,000. You take a financial hit and you are forced to buy a Camry this time.

B. You start bleeding during bowel movements. You go to the doctor and get poked, prodded, X-ray’d, biopsied, etc. 3 days later you get a call for a consultation. The doctor informs you that you have advanced colon cancer at 45 years old. You have anywhere from 6 months to 5 years left to live. He tells you it’s time to get your house in order because you’ll be checking out soon. Chemotherapy starts today.

A friend of mine who was a science and health researcher at the University of Chicago, just died this past year of colon cancer at 42. In the midst of the prime of his life, he said goodbye, and left his wife and child behind, wondering what just hit them.

Why do you brush your teeth? Are your teeth falling out right now? For most of us, we do it so we won’t need false teeth and Fixodent down the road…right? We want to be able to eat apples. Hey, I agree with that. Natural teeth are great.

But have you ever seen someone who was forced to endure a colonectomy? Someone who now will be spending the rest of their life carrying a bag around?

Incredibly, this is an area where even the staunchest MD’s AGREE with us!! Can you believe it? If they knew you had the greatest colon cleanse in the world, I bet they might even refer people to you. NO, I’m not kidding…

This subject is not even up for debate. It’s a proven fact. The problem is, most people are not doing anything about it. Please don’t be one of them.

****WARNING***** The next section of this email contains graphic material which may not be suitable for squeamish individuals.

Let’s talk stools.

The stool tells you a lot about your colon health. If it’s dark brown in color, and it sinks, and it stinks, that’s not good. And don’t feel bad, that’s the way most people are. What you want to see is light brown color, which means it’s full of fresh bile from the liver, very mild odor, and a stool that floats. We’re talking low-density here folks. The more compaction you have the darker the color and the faster it sinks. Compaction is not good. Also, moving bowels should be SIMPLE. If the veins are popping out of your neck and you feel like your doing the bench press, you NEED to cleanse your colon.

When you do the cleanse, after the first few days, you will know you are cleansing when you see the above good stuff happening, and you are eliminating at least 2-3 times per day.

Cleansing your colon is a 30-day process. Its also very economical at $51.50, for all three products. You may be very surprised at some of the benefits you will receive besides just losing 1-5 lbs of cr*p from your body and brightening your future health.

People have reported more energy, less allergies, clearing of acne, cessation of migraines, and many other results, not to mention restored regularity. When your body is void of old, poisonous toxins that are constantly being reabsorbed through the colon walls, it can begin to heal again. And when the colon walls are clean, the good nutrients from your food and supplements can be absorbed again. You will be thrilled with the results.

At this point you are either nauseated thinking about what is inside your own colon, or you’re ready to do something about cleaning it out.

Want more info? Click here and I’ll send it to you, including instructions on how to take it. And yes, I have taken it myself.

Currently available only in the U.S. and Canada. Seeking Distributors to meet high demand.

Can you believe this shit? Oops that’s a bad pun seeing what this spam is dealing with. The thing that amazes me the most is the fact that some jackass took the time and energy to write this. There has to be an easier way to make money.

Spam this asshole if your not afraid of this guy getting your e-mail address.

I have been biding my time. I have always known that one day I would be able to get revenge. I realize this is a petty way to feel. I realize that those bastards that fired me are long gone. I realize I’m a little vague here. It’s just that I talk about this at least every year. Sometimes I mention it more.

Back in the day I got fired from the hotel. I was fired because of my website. So whenever “they” talk about the hotel getting a website I always have to chuckle. Because whenever this hotel website is brought up, it’s funny how they always want me to do it.

Now I realize some of these guys running the place are not American. And to clarify I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I sometimes think that these foreigners don’t understand the way we Americans are. But when this talk about a hotel site goes on I can’t help thinking not a chance in hell. And I think this is an American response, not something they may expect. Seeing how these new owners are more than a little stingy with the raises I’m in a position to not help them.

Between my own site and the new AOD Guild site I just don’t have the time. The fact is the only way I’m doing the hotel a site is if I’m paid. I’m not talking about doing it on the clock while I do audit. I mean getting paid for helping them get a website for the hotel. Either in addition to my meager hourly audit wage or a new position were I come in and do it when it’s convenient to me. Call me silly, but I don’t see that happening.

So for now all they get is “not a chance in hell” and that is me being generous.