Let me tell you people about my weasels. Yes I keep weasels as pets. It allows me to think like the weasels I work by seeing these animals in action. They are viscous little bastards who terrorize weaker prey. If you don’t have experience with they guys read the definition up top, but I think must of you have plenty of experience with weasels.

Larry is the first weasel pictured above. It is the leader of the pack. Or at least the other two follow him. Because Larry is the least skilled of the weasels to be in charge. Larry has a hard time taking care of its self. Larry does not forage for food very well, and is very poor at the hunting of the creatures they eat. Larry has a difficult time going the bathroom without pissing on himself. Usually the other two do the work that Larry should be doing.

Which brings me to the second weasel pictured above. The second of my weasels is named Curly. Curly is almost like Larry. Except Curly is just plain retarded. Where as Larry is unskilled, Curly has a few extra chromosomes. He’s nice enough as far as weasels are concerned. Curly is also unfit for leadership of the pack.

Third and my favorite is Moe. Moe is extremely intelligent and cunning for a weasel. He is also extra violent as far as weasels are concerned. Moe really does all of the work for Larry, yet Larry is in charge of their group.

Which brings me to natural selection. Natural Selection is in a nutshell survival of the fittest. Now I do not want to argue Darwin with you people. This is just something I believe in. Here is what happens with my group of weasels under natural selection.

The other two weasels, most likely Moe would kill Larry. Larry is the weakest in the group and the survival of the other depends on Larry functioning as the leader. This is mother nature at work. I don’t want to hear people saying “ohh poor cute innocent Larry. Spider you are a cold heartless bastard!” In the real world Moe would rip out Larry’s fucking gizzard. And then Moe would be in charge with it the way it should be. But be rest assured in the controlled environment they live in poor Larry is still alive and well and in charge.

But one day even in that controlled environment poor Larry is going to get what he deserves. And that goes for any weasels like Larry. Natural selection is coming for you!