Do you miss having MST3K on tv? I know I do. Want to know the next best thing? Rifftrax. This is how they describe themselves:

An innovative new site featuring the hilarious DVD commentaries of Michael J. Nelson, head writer and star of the legendary Mystery Science Theater 3000!

For some that will be enough. Now do you think that Star Trek V: The Final Frontier is the worst of the Star Trek Movies? Well take Mike Nelson and add Kevin “Tom Servo” Murphy and you have one of the funniest movies ever. While listening to this during one scene I literally blasted pop out of my mouth as I took a sip while these guys delivered their jokes.

The only downside is that for the 1.99-2.99 you get a mp3. You have to sync it up with the dvd. Either by watching the movie your computer and running the mp3 in whatever media player of your choice. They give you advance warning when to pause their rifftrax and when to start it again with the movie so it does sync up correctly. The only other option I guess would be to burn it on multiple cd’s. Not the easiest of solutions I think.

So if you love MST3K and Hate Star Trek V this is a must have. For 2.99 it is a steal. Just make sure your not drinking any beverages while watching this because there is danger you will spit pop everywhere as laughter blasts out of you.

When the Star Wars movies were finally put out on DVD I was more than a little pissed off that Lucas decided to only issue the digitally remastered versions. Well in this on the official Star War site they announced that Lucas is putting out the good stuff in September.

In response to overwhelming demand, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release attractively priced individual two-disc releases of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Each release includes the 2004 digitally remastered version of the movie and, as bonus material, the theatrical edition of the film.

This release will only be available for a limited time: from September 12th to December 31st. International release will follow on or about the same day. Each original theatrical version will feature Dolby 2.0 Surround sound, close-captioning, and subtitles in English, French and Spanish for their U.S. release. International sound and subtitling vary by territory.

They don't mention a price of course. The USA Today does.

Their wishes will be granted Sept. 12 when Fox releases new two-disc DVDs ($30 each) of Star Wars (since retitled as Episode IV: A New Hope), The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi that include the films as they first appeared in theaters, along with the new, restored versions (now available in the four-disc $70 Star Wars Trilogy).

These DVDs as stated above will have both old and new versions of the flicks. So let me ask you just how many goddamn times do I have to buy the original trilogy? I have the set of vhs when it was first put out. I have the cool boxed set with the widescreen versions. I have the vhs set of the special edition movies. And finally I have the DVD set that was put out in 2004.

I just paid 70 bucks in 2004. And now I have to shell out 90 more dollars to buy shit I already own. And as much as I bitch you can bet your ass I'll be picking these up when they come out. It's just the idea of it. That fat fuck Lucas could have just done this in 2004. Beat that dead horse motherfucker. Fucking guy doesn't look like he's all that needy.

I guess some people will never have enough money. What can you do?

I saw Spider-Man 2 again. I just got back from the show. I want to go on the record saying that Spider-Man 2 is the greatest superhero movie ever made. It is the purest translation of a comic book to a movie.

Seeing this movie and the first Spider-Man flick reminds me just why Spidey is my favorite of all the superheroes. Peter Parker/Spider-Man is the every man. He’s me, he’s you. He worries about the shit that I worry about and I know I said it before.

It’s just that how many of these superheroes are your average joe? And I’m going to aim my fire at those rich snob DC fucking heroes. Batman? A fucking rich guy. Superman? Another fucking rich guy. And sure there are a few Marvel guys like that.

But how can I associate with fucking these rich got it all superheroes? If you take away their powers and their skin tight costumes they still got none of the problems I do. It’s nice to see poor Peter Parker and his normal problems. I can understand what he feels.

I’ve seen Spider-Man 2 twice now. This movie is one of those I can watch a hundred more times. I know for a fact I’ll see it again. Shit I may even go see it again tonight. It was that good. If you saw the first movie and you liked it, if you even slightly dig the Spider-Man comic you got to go see this movie.

First let me just say Spider-Man 2 was fucking awesome! Ok that’s out of my system. I hate to be back to my negative self here, but I have one problem to point out. Not really a problem even really. Just a thing I noticed. It’s the Spider-Man 2 Superman 2 connection. I was going to list this shit myself but I’m lazy and I found this instead over at the Penny Arcade forums:

Superman 2

• Villains from the past come back to haunt Superman
• Superman looses his powers because he no longer wants to be a superhero
• Several scene feature him running down the street and ripping open his suit to reveal the insignia on his chest
• Superman’s identity is compromised.
• Superman’s love finds out his identity.
• Superman reclaims his powers after realizing the world needs him
• Superman is visited by a disembodied vision of his parental figures to discuss the importance of his powers.

Spider-Man 2

• Villains from the past come back to haunt Spider-Man
• Spider-Man looses his powers because he no longer wants to be a superhero
• Several scene feature him running down the street and ripping open his suit to reveal the insignia on his chest
• Spider-Man’s identity is compromised.
• Spider-Man’s love finds out his identity.
• Spider-Man reclaims his powers after realizing the world needs him
• Spider-Man is visited by a disembodied vision of his parental figures to discuss the importance of his powers.

So again this isn’t a bad thing. The second Superman movie was the best of that series. It works on so many levels. Why not pay homage (steal) to that great movie? And at least Sam Raimi is a smart enough guy to steal from the good movies. And Don’t get me wrong Spider-Man 2 has a lot going on. I’m not saying it’s a carbon copy of the Superman movie. It’s just that a certain recipe was used in making the flick. And it’s a good thing for all of us that enjoy these kinds of movies.

I’ve seen the second X-Men movie twice now. I have been holding off on commenting for a reason I really couldn’t identify. But after going through some of my old comics I realized what it was. It was a certain deja vu I felt seeing the movie. I guess it shouldn’t come to anyones surprise that the new X-Men movie is not an original idea. God Loves, Man Kills (pictured below) was Marvel Graphic Novel number 5.

It was published back in 1982 and it and the X2 movie share the same basic plot and characters. William Stryker, his plot against the mutants, making his own Cerebro, Magneto and the X-Men teaming up is all there.

The story is just broken down to it’s simplest form. Simplified for the non X-Men fans. But it’s pretty much the same. Except it’s not. It’s really a watered down version of a groundbreaking comic story.

Let’s take Stryker for example. The movie Stryker hatred for muties is fueled by the fact he had a son that was a mutant. Yeah that’s pretty good motivation. Throw in the bit about how he sent the kid to Xavier’s mutant school adds to the movie Strykers dislike of mutants.

But in the comic the character of Stryker is so much more. This Stryker also had a child that was a mutant. But his reaction to the child was that it was a monster and the comic Stryker killed his child. But that wasn’t enough. The comic Stryker also kills his wife because he had decided it was her fault for bringing the monster into this world.

Now you have a good start for the comic Stryker going here. But it gets better. The comic Stryker finds religion and truly believes that all mutants are the spawns of satan. So the comic Stryker sets up a church to start a crusade against the worlds mutants.

All of the religious ideas are stripped from the movie. And it hurts the movie Strykers character. The movie Stryker is a hollow movie badguy and nothing more. It’s a shame in a way because the comic Stryker was just a guy doing what he believed was right. Sure he was a madman but it worked better.

The rest of it was pretty much the same. But it’s all mixed together with other X-Men stories. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the second X-Men movie. You can’t take a comic book story and translate it into a movie. Some of the ideas and plots have to be dropped or changed to suit the fickle movie going audience.

And I think that has to be done, I really do. If the third movie is going to cover the whole Phoenix story it has to be taken a carefully look at and cuts and changes need to be made to make it a non comic fan friendly movie.

In the end if you like the second movie and you want to experience this story the way it was meant to be go to your local comic book store and look for the just republished God Loves, Man Kills.

Nuff Said.

So I’m going to let you in on another one of my recent obsessions. This time its the movie Bull Durham. I recently picked up the movie and I have been watching it over and over. There just is something about these Kevin Costner baseball movies that make me wish I could appreciate baseball. As it is I find baseball to be one of the most boring sports around. Watching it is right up there with watching golf. The funny thing is most of my good friends all like baseball.

Both Stanley and Izer love baseball. The both of them are chronic Cubs fans. They go to games and every once in a while they try to get me to go. I thought about it. But decided to pass as soon as I found out beer is cut off around the seventh inning. That’s a problem I am trying to work on.

Here is the infamous speech from Bull Durham:

Well I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, hi-fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self indulgent over rated crap.

I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.

I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing astro turf in the designated hitter.

I believe in the sweet spot, softcore pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas eve.

And I believe in long slow deep soft wet kisses that last three days.

I just love that.

I spoke of obsessions a few post back and wanted to mention another one. I am obsessed by the movie Beautiful Girls. I can’t put my finger on just what it is about the flick that I’m obsessed with. I just love the movie. Timothy Hutton, Michael Rappaport, and a few others are in it. Hutton is excellent in the movie. Natalie Portman is in it also. Rappaport’s character in it is just one of those guys that I would immediately like. Just a strange guy. The guy he plays is obsessed with supermodels. He does this bit were he explains himself to Hutton’s character. It goes like this:

The super models are beautiful girls.
A beautiful girl could make you dizzy, like you been drinking jack and coke all morning. She can make you feel high.

Full of the single greatest commodity known to man, promise. The promise of a better day, the promise of a greater hope. The promise of a new tomorrow.

This particular ore.. can be found in the gate of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, and in the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like its gonna be ok.

The super model that’s all they are, bottled promise. Scenes from a brand new day. Hope dancing in stiletto heels.

A beautiful girl is all powerful and that is as good as love.

And heck for some reason I just like that the bit.