Well I just love a mystery. I’m a want to be shamus. Marlowe is my idol. This is really good timing. I’m finalizing some things, that will start my biz end of this website. Here is Secretive:

Name: Secretive
Date: 01/30/01
Time: 09:57 PM
Comments:

I love signing people’s guestbooks. Especially when its anonymous. You can say anything you want, and people try to figure out if they know you. Well I’ll save you the trouble. I know a lot more than you could possibly imagine.

You are pretty clever with all this web-site business. Maybe you should consider it as a profession, rather than an amusement. The premise of this seems to be your unhappiness with your job. Remember that you have choices. You can really do what you want. It’s not bullshit. You just have to try.

Enoughs, Enough.
Your Unknown Internet Acquaintance

Thanks for the compliment. I don’t consider myself to clever with this “web-site business”, I am a hack. A cheat, in other words. I don’t know html. But, I have fun doing this.

So here it is. I’m going to do a t-shirt. A official Hotel Blues t-shirt. I threatened this before, this time it’s a done deal. Tomorrow I go to sign off on the design. A simple design. It will be a black shirt, with white font. It will have the url and my slogan. It should sell for ten bucks. I have yet to figure out my business model. I’m thinking about online credit card transactions. I just not sure if this is a secure server. So most likely people will e-mail me, then I’ll e-mail back telling were to send their check or money order.

And remember my ulterior motive is not about making money. I just want the the t-shirt for myself. If people buy them then great. I hope to hear from you again Secretive.

I have been thinking about what Secretive said. Maybe He/She is right. Of course some things they said are off base. My favorite part that people always assume about me is:

…people try to figure out if they know you. Well I’ll save you the trouble. I know a lot more than you could possibly imagine.

No you don’t. I don’t want to be rude to someone who has complimented me so nicely. To quote Kevin Smith ” What you don’t know about me I can just about squeeze into the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?” Sorry couldn’t resist. But really, there is a lot of things I don’t talk about here on the website. Something’s I don’t even tell my friends.

Maybe you should consider it as a profession, rather than an amusement.

Ok sure. But I have not been to successful at getting gigs lined up. The only time someone wanted my help I basically told them to go fuck themselves. So I’m not to sure about that. Sure it’s my profession. The same way my profession was an artist. Starving is the adjective here. I can’t quit my day job as of right now. Sure I’m a web designer with a part time hotel job. Of course at parties I still introduce myself as “Turk, Nuclear Physicist.”

The premise of this seems to be your unhappiness with your job.

Actually I don’t really have a premise per say. My unhappiness with my job doesn’t really enter into the equation. With out my hotel job this site would be very boring. When I was unemployed my posts on the X-Files seemed to irritate my readers. I go a step further in saying with out the hotel this site wouldn’t be updated. Shit…Maybe your right. I still feel it’s a secondary plot thread. The site is about me. I don’t think my site is weird, yet it doesn’t fall under the header normal either.

Ah the art of conversation. Secretive you got a gig for me? And come on, give me a hint. I can be a little slow. Or e-mail me. We can have a civilized chat that won’t appear on this page. I’d actually prefer that.

Ok maybe we got off on the wrong foot. Secretive signed the GuestBook, again. Look I’m not trying to make an enemy out of you. I have a sarcastic tone. This is all a game. You make your play and see what kind of reply I make. I then do my thing. A game. It’s a fun game. Why? because this kind of thing stimulates hits. If (and I’m not going to hold my breath) you do e-mail me for a more private conversation I won’t make it personal. Up to you.

I read your response. Interesting. You know that if we made this a personal chat via your e-mail, you would know who I was. It’s better like this. You are against anyone who wants to teach you things, so you would make this personal – if you knew me.

I’m all for people teaching me things. I was once taught how to play rummy. A game I wasn’t good at and lost more times than I could remember. But I learned to play the game. What do you have to teach me? Maybe next time you write you can tell me. This is a fun game.

Why are you so against making money. You don’t want advertisers on your web-site or to earn any profit off the t-shirt shit. Are starving because of this thing that artist’s call artistic integrity?

I’m not against making money. On the contrary. I’m all about that. Advertisers? Well maybe. Advertisers equal more banners. banners equal .jpg’s or .gif’s. And that increases load times. Let’s see how traffic picks up. As far as the t-shirt, I plan on making profit. I hope. I get the shirts on Friday, so hopefully they look good. More on that later. Now as to my artistic integrity. That’s a hard topic to explain. Artistic Integrity is like love. It’s all in the eye of the beholder. I can’t explain it to you if you don’t have it. Sorry.

What’s up with that? I know that the delivery guys give you free pizza now and again anyway.

A clue! You got me thinking now. My brain is just working overtime.

Like, I said… I know you. Do you know me? Ha. Ha. You don’t, and its amusing. Not to be a dick or bitch, but I love this. Talk to you later.

Yeah well great. You know me, I know you. We are family. Another clue. So are you confused about your gender? Or is it you just don’t want to give me to much? That’s cool. You know enough about me to drop the pizza bit. You know that I’m thinking you could possibly be two people I knew. See this is is fun. A great game. I again say I have nothing against you for speaking your mind. Maybe we can develop some trust and expand the rules of the game. I’m willing to take it slow on this. I do so love this kind of verbal sparring.

And just to prove I got nothing against you, let me say to my friends who stop by try not to abuse Secretive. Let’s see if we can all play nice. I’m eager to hear from you.

The GuestBook is really busy all of the sudden. First a question from NoName:

Is Spider really Troy? And why would you call a girl Pete?

No. Spider is not Troy. A girl named Pete? I don’t recall. Moving right along, we have Amy S. with a few suggestions:

Name: Amy S.
Where: a friend
Date: 02/01/01
Time: 04:17 PM

Comments:

I guess I expected something different when Jenny told me to check this place out. Anyway, it’s cool. You need to have a daily funny story, or a story about something great that happened somewhere in the world, or a joke (preferably a dirty joke since those are the best). Ask a riddle and ask people to solve it. Quote someone, and have them figure out who your quoting. Describe someplace in the world or town, and have them try to figure out where you are talking about. EVEN BETTER, RATE EVERY BAR YOU GO TO. BUT RATE IT ON THINGS THAT MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH: Average time it takes for them to dump your ashtray, or refill your beer. How many times the bartender bends over in front of you, or how many drunk people you can count, or how comfortable the stools are, whether it was nipply, and if the bathroom toilets were all flushable. Or something funny or stupid that you seen on the bathroom stall. that’s what I would do if I had a web page. But this one’s all yours, so I hope you like my suggestions. Amy

Well like I said it’s hard to define my website. Dirty jokes I can do. I like the bar idea. I really like the bar idea. I’ll see if Secretive doesn’t keep me to busy. Once again I say if anyone wants to contribute to this page send it in. If Amy or anyone else has stories like she’s talking about send it in. Speaking of secretive, this is what he had to say:

I read the questions posted in the guestbook earlier about Spider & Pete. Spider is you. I think I know who Pete is, but I’m not sure, so I’ll refrain from commenting. There is so much to go through to get caught up with your site. I just wanted to drop a quick line. Nothing important to contribute today. It’s time for a smoke. You smoke Newport’s right? Ponder my identity over a few drags of a Newport and a MGD.

Spider me? Sure it was me. This one and here. The Spider NoName asked about referring to Pete was someone else. Not Troy though. Let’s drop the whole Pete thing. Ok? That’s a subject that is done and buried. I really do enjoy this Secretive. I hope you have something interesting to say next time. You keep this up I will be adding a Secretive’s Greatest Hits page to the Archive soon just like Iggy’s and Sergie’s. Oh I’m pondering. Ponder. Ponder. Ponder. I know who you are. Your just another strange product of this website. That’s all. I quit smoking. But I will ponder some more with the MGD. MGD, Ponder, MGD, Ponder.

Secretive showed up in the GuestBook, again. Of course Secretive was sure to drop some hints. Here is what Secretive said (broken down):

I hope that you weren’t waiting for me to write again. I don’t really have that much to say.

No I haven’t been waiting for you to write again. I wouldn’t want you to tax yourself.

Been to Tomorrow’s Is Yesterday lately? Great place isn’t it?

Yeah TIY is a great place. Did you go with me to the comic store? What just once right? You were bored.

Where do you live, now? With your dad? It’s been awhile.

Yes I’m at my dad’s. Yes it’s been awhile. You are going to have to forgive me Secretive I’m just a little hung over. Why are you doing this? Did I mistreat you? Did I do you some grievous wrong? What’s the deal? Like I said before, your one of two people. Neither whom I really want to see again. One of them I just don’t give a shit about. The other I do. The past is the past. Let it go.

Wow. Here’s Secretive:

I was just having fun. Sorry to disturb you. There isn’t anything left to say. Except…you guys take things way too personally. No one was being insulted, so take it easy.

It was you. I didn’t honestly expect that. I didn’t take any of it personally. Or maybe it wasn’t you. Either way, I just changed tactics on you Secretive. Remember this is a game we are playing. A friendly game. I thought you would see my ploy for what it was. If you are “That One Girl” as your brother put it, I’m going to apologize again. You should feel special about this. I have apologized to you three times. I ain’t never done that to no one else.

She said “you guys”. Mr. Izer stopped by to check in on the mayhem lately. Shit just read what the man said in the GuestBook:

Name: IZER/SPIDER/JEFF?
Email: no no info
Where: from some git I know
Date: 02/05/01
Time: 07:29 PM

Comments:

Well well well, I haven’t wrote in this guest book in a little while ya know had to pop out a couple of beautiful kids and build the izer/spider/jeff mansion. Hey Hey things are sure getting interesting in the old site which I can say I’ve been there since the beginning! Damn I feel old. SO does anybody want to hear what I have to say about secretive? YES, NO? Well TOO DAMN BAD you are going to hear it anyway. The man behind the curtain running this web site has been my closest friend for a good many years and if you really got to know him as a FRIEND! You would know that he thinks that his friends are even more important that family because he’s like me family always “FUCKS YOU AT THE DRIVE THRU”! And if HE/SHE was really Turk’s friend they would just fess up and get some balls (Depending on the testosterone levels?) And stop BEATING AROUND THE FUCKING BUSH and say what they want to say! So have your little fun if you must to get your kicks and it does make for some good tit for tat? “But that is just my opinion!” And as a great poet once said “FUCK THEM! FUCK THEM ALL!” And in as Dennis Quaid put it “I’m BAACCK!”

What can I say? He’s right about the friend’s thing. At least I try. Friends are important to me. Well I’m out of juice.