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  • Sunday March 8th 2009
    Don’t Watch Watchmen 3:26 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad, Movies Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    Fuck Zach Synder ok? Here is a bit from the Watchmen movie Wikipedia entry:

    Moore adamantly opposed a film adaptation of his comic book, arguing, “You get people saying, ‘Oh, yes, Watchmen is very cinematic,’ when actually it’s not. It’s almost the exact opposite of cinematic.” Moore said that Terry Gilliam, preparing to direct Watchmen for Warner Bros. at the time, had asked Moore how the writer would film it. “I had to tell him that, frankly, I didn’t think it was filmable. I didn’t design it to show off the similarities between cinema and comics, which are there, but in my opinion are fairly unremarkable. It was designed to show off the things that comics could do that cinema and literature couldn’t.”

    Terry Gilliam did not make a Watchmen movie. Anyway who the fuck is Zack Snyder? A Dawn of the Dead remake and 300 are his credentials? Dude is unqualified to make Watchmen. Gilliam on the other had has made some good movies. And if anyone would have done it right it would have been him. I don’t think Terry Gilliam would have included Night Owl seeing Rorschach die. Or even worse upon seeing said death have Night Owl fall to his knees and raise his hands up and to scream into the night.

    Another thing that bugged me. In Snyder’s Watchmen the name of the superhero group is Watchmen. Hopefully in the director’s cut they say the superhero team name enough that one can make a drinking game around it. The changes this guy made to the ending also bothered me. Blaming it on Doctor Manhattan seems just a lazy way out. I’m sick to death of this 9/11 bullshit. Water down the ending just because something bad happened? It’s a good thing the Japanese are not such pussies or we would have never got any Godzilla movies.

    If you want to experience Watchmen read the comic. It’s how the creator Alan Moore wanted it. Or wait for someone with real talent to come along and do the source material justice.

    Views: 707
    Friday June 22nd 2007
    Movie Galactus 4:45 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad, Comic Books Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    Tim Story must die. It’s that time of again when the Barbershop director unleashes a new Fantastic Four movie on the world. I’m getting ahead of myself. First things first. This has me all pissed off. And here is the important part:

    A storm cloud.

    Stop right there. Fuck them. Galactus is the devourer of worlds goddamn it. The first picture is a cloud. The second picture is Galactus The Devourer of Worlds.

    A Cloud Galactus

    The Big G is not a fucking cloud. End of story. Tell this to that piece of fuck Tim “Barbershop” Story. Below is what Tim “Taxi” Story thinks Galactus should look like:


    So what we have here is proof that some comic books should not be made into movies. I’m glad I stuck to my guns and did not go and see this movie. I won’t watch it on dvd either. I’ll just dream of Fantastic Four movies that could have been.

    At least Tim Story can’t fuck up the comic books themselves. Do yourself a favor and just go and buy this below.

    44 years of the Fantastic Four on DVD!

    You can thank me later for saving you from the second Tim Story Fantastic Four movie.

    Views: 1,636
    Saturday February 17th 2007
    Ghost Rider 10:51 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad, Movies Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    May god have mercy on my soul. I’m going to see the Ghost Rider movie at 2:30pm today. The outlook is not good. Ghost Rider first showed up as a western themed character in 1967. A few years later Marvel moved Ghost Rider to the then modern time of 1972. Below is the Ghost Rider of the movie:

    One Two

    This below is Ghost Rider from Marvel Spotlight number 5 and Ghost Rider number 1:

    Three Four

    Next let’s take a look at some of the comments on Rotten Tomatoes Ghost Rider page.

    I kept hoping the Scooby Doo gang would come out, rip the mask off of Cage and reveal Ghost Rider really is crazy old man Ben Affleck! That would explain so much.
    Willie Waffle, WaffleMovies.com

    Ghost Rider reportedly cost $120 million to make. But the resulting cheesy CGI effects, bad sets and music and mugging by the actors, especially Cage, suggest you spent your life’s savings and ended up with a Yugo.
    James Verniere, Boston Herald

    It does not sound good at all. A quick IMDB check settles it. The same hack that did Daredevil directed Ghost Rider.

    Views: 1,379
    Sunday September 3rd 2006
    RiffTrax 5:23 pm-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad, Good, Movies Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    Do you miss having MST3K on tv? I know I do. Want to know the next best thing? Rifftrax. This is how they describe themselves:

    An innovative new site featuring the hilarious DVD commentaries of Michael J. Nelson, head writer and star of the legendary Mystery Science Theater 3000!

    For some that will be enough. Now do you think that Star Trek V: The Final Frontier is the worst of the Star Trek Movies? Well take Mike Nelson and add Kevin “Tom Servo” Murphy and you have one of the funniest movies ever. While listening to this during one scene I literally blasted pop out of my mouth as I took a sip while these guys delivered their jokes.

    The only downside is that for the 1.99-2.99 you get a mp3. You have to sync it up with the dvd. Either by watching the movie your computer and running the mp3 in whatever media player of your choice. They give you advance warning when to pause their rifftrax and when to start it again with the movie so it does sync up correctly. The only other option I guess would be to burn it on multiple cd’s. Not the easiest of solutions I think.

    So if you love MST3K and Hate Star Trek V this is a must have. For 2.99 it is a steal. Just make sure your not drinking any beverages while watching this because there is danger you will spit pop everywhere as laughter blasts out of you.

    Views: 1,128
    Tuesday November 1st 2005
    Good News 3:45 pm-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    Saw this over at Gawain’s Maybe, just maybe, we are free of Uwe Boll:

    Uwe Boll’s days as a human tax write-off are over: in January 2006, the Make Money By Investing In Failed Movies loophole will be closed. So, where is the guy going to get his funding now? Are you thinking what I’m thinking? FREEDOM!

    One can hope that his movie making days are numbered.

    Views: 882
    Friday July 8th 2005
    Fantastic Four 11:44 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    So is this guy full of shit or what? He says and I quote:

    Fine job, one and all. The direction, the story, the wowza special effects are excellent. Comic fans need to be aware that, as they’ve probably picked up from the previews, the story is different from the one presented by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby back in 1961, particularly as it relates to Dr. Doom.

    He goes on to say:

    If they are able to put that aside, fans can enjoy the movie for living up to the spirit of the Fab Four. I’d rate it a bit below Batman Begins but on par with the Spider-Man and X-Men flicks. And it’s way above Hulk and Daredevil.

    Which by this point the son of a bitch has blasphemed quite enough and I stop reading. Ok I didn’t really stop reading. I just don’t think the guy is qualified to make this kind of call. I also say that the changes to Doctor Doom are to much to overlook. I’m a firm believer that certain things like the origin of Doom can’t be altered. It takes away from just what Doom really is.

    It’s a moot point of course as I have yet to see this movie. But in a few hours that will change. Then we will see if this guy is right or wrong. And I say he’s wrong.

    Views: 883
    Monday July 4th 2005
    Church of Galactus! 2:02 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    Well I found this not a moment to soon. I say this only because I hope and pray that the Big G will smite the infidels that made the (I’m quite positive it’s going to suck) new Fantastic Four movie. I’m really terribly afraid that if this movie is even a mild success that we will see a just as fucked up Galactus as this Doom origin having him on the fucking rocket with the FF.

    Views: 877
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