I have known the guy named Turk for a while. I have watched his website for about the last year. Since he has talked me into writing I decided I would go through the whole site and read everything. His website like him has mellowed with age. About the only thing the big guys seems to have trouble with is some of the people he tries to be friends with. He has two groups of friends. One set is the people he has known forever. Then you have that group of people that he only has known for a year or two.
Turk has this saying he use to explain what he calls his extended family. It is “me and mine”. “Me and mine” is his blood relatives and his friends. Now sometimes I get the feeling that Turk puts his friends at a higher priority than his family. But, his “me and mine” is also why he has a lot of difficulties with some of his “friends” he has only known for a year or two. Now I really wanted to stay out of some of Turk’s petty misunderstandings. I will say this, I feel Turk has been to hard on this Sergei Fedorov character. Turk forgets it takes time to get to know a person. A majority of his problems is that Turk shot off his mouth here on the webpage before thinking about what he was saying. Turk has no patience (He is good at pretending he does, and like to preach patience to others). Despite what he claims he really can be a hothead. And do not get me started on his temper.
So what exactly is this “me and mine” thing? Good question. For reasons I’m not to sure of Turk values friendship a tad bit more than his family. He cherishes his friends, but he has on occasion said that friends come and go. Which is something I think he is afraid of. So the friends he has he would do anything for them, of course he expects the same from his friends. Now his close friends are like that. This is another problem he runs into with his new friends. He even has admitted this. He has high standards when it comes to his friends. The other thing about his “me and mine” thing is that I sometimes suspects he use his friends as a replacement for an intimacy he feels he has lost. There is a story he will tell you about after one of two possibilities have been met. If he has known you long enough or if he gets quite intoxicated he will tell you about how he lost the love of his life. I think this is something he believes very much. Here’s the catch in his “me and mine” theory. Up until recently Turk has not had any close women friends. I am not talking about girlfriends. I mean friends which happen to be the female of the species. I think that the wives and girlfriends of his friends do not fit into his “me and mine”. Because of his lost love he feels that the women are more prone to come and go than anyone else.
Now every once in a while Turk meets what he considers a nice girl. But he waits and treats the female as a lab experiment and gathers all of the research he can find on the person before he even tries to start a friendship. Even if he really likes the girl he will not tell them. And we come back to this lost love of his. Sometimes I think he feels that the mistake he made with this love of his life means that he had his chance. For proof to my hypothesis I will give two examples. One, he has told me about how a friend of his at work is trying to set him up with a girl that thinks he is cute. This woman really digs the guy. She baked him cookies. Turk doesn’t seem to want anything to do with this lady. He has even met the lady and said that she wasn’t bad looking.
Next we come to something the guy is maybe slightly embarrassed about. Within the last couple of months he has become good friends with a girl! My god that is an amazing thing coming from him. Now the reason I say he is embarrassed about the whole situation is that I only found out last week. We on occasion have gone out for a beer, and I tried getting a hold of the guy last Friday. He was to be found nowhere. If he is not home he is either at work. If he is not at work or home he is either at his good friend Troy’s house or at his Grandmas. I drove past Troy’s and he was not there. I call Grandma and ask if he is there. Grandma tells me he is probably out with his girlfriend. I almost drooped the phone. Girlfriend I ask? The old lady can get excited easily, she screams into the phone “she’s just a friend of his” and hangs up. As I learned later Turk gave his poor grandma the riot act for calling her his girlfriend.
The girl has a name, but I am forbidden to give names. Here on the net it’s Pete. Even talking to me in the real world he refers to her as Pete most of the time. Now he doesn’t give out to many details about his friendship with her under normal circumstances. If you want info from the guy you get him drunk and that’s what I did. It was Pete this and Pete that. Get this, when he happens to take his car with Pete he can not listen to Billy Joel. If you know the guy, you know he loves Billy Joel. So this was a big shock. When I go somewhere with the guy I know damn well not to ask for a different music selection. I mentioned that to him. He says that Pete says that Billy Joel is only good in small doses. I can not argue that point because I feel the same way. Another thing is that he seems like he does not want the majority of his friends to meet the girl. I asked him if he wanted to have Pete meet us at the bar. No way was the answer I got. He feels that some of his friends would embarrass him. That could be true, I do owe the guy for quite a bit of shit I got from him.
Don’t get me wrong, if the guy is happy with things this way I say don’t rock the boat. I tell you when ever I see him after he has been hanging out with Pete he is in an amazingly good mood. But here is what is going to happen to poor Pete. Eventually Turk is going to start to hang out with her less and less. The tough guy can’t let himself get bogged down with any feelings. It’s like the Robert Dinero movie where Dinero says do not ever get to involved with anything you can not walk away from. This is just my opinion on that matter. Turk will never ever claim this to anyone. But as he says “whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”
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