Working at the hotel has become a lot funner since the new owners bought the place. What do I mean? I just found out about some new company perks and I wanted to tell the internet all about them. Of course there are some restrictions on who can use these perks, but that is a minor detail.

The first perk is calling the hotel when your shitfaced repeatedly. I know this doesn’t sound like much of a perk. Which is cool because I’ve always wanted to call my place of work after I’m pissed drunk just to fuck with whoever is working. Of course I’ve always been afraid that this kind of thing would get me fired, but I don’t have to worry about that any more. And you can call more than once, preferably you would call repeatedly.

The second perk is use of the company van to cart around you and all of your drunk co-workers or buddies. This is a nice one. I guess the issues of insurance and just the fact of driving drunk have been worked out. Which is cool because this is a perk I will use. I don’t know how they got by the insurance and driving drunk thing, but what the hell you only live once. And you don’t even have to be on the clock to take advantage of this one.

Now you may ask how I know that these perks are in effect? Well I’m glad you asked. I have it from a source close to the owner that this kind of thing is allowed. And here I was thinking that they didn’t have any clue on how bad morale was at the hotel. Well you proved me wrong with these moral boosting new company perks.