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    Friday June 22nd 2007
    Movie Galactus 4:45 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad, Comic Books Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    Tim Story must die. It’s that time of again when the Barbershop director unleashes a new Fantastic Four movie on the world. I’m getting ahead of myself. First things first. This has me all pissed off. And here is the important part:

    A storm cloud.

    Stop right there. Fuck them. Galactus is the devourer of worlds goddamn it. The first picture is a cloud. The second picture is Galactus The Devourer of Worlds.

    A Cloud Galactus

    The Big G is not a fucking cloud. End of story. Tell this to that piece of fuck Tim “Barbershop” Story. Below is what Tim “Taxi” Story thinks Galactus should look like:

    GahLakTus

    So what we have here is proof that some comic books should not be made into movies. I’m glad I stuck to my guns and did not go and see this movie. I won’t watch it on dvd either. I’ll just dream of Fantastic Four movies that could have been.

    At least Tim Story can’t fuck up the comic books themselves. Do yourself a favor and just go and buy this below.

    44 years of the Fantastic Four on DVD!

    You can thank me later for saving you from the second Tim Story Fantastic Four movie.

    Views: 1,621
    Saturday February 17th 2007
    Ghost Rider 10:51 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad, Movies Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    May god have mercy on my soul. I’m going to see the Ghost Rider movie at 2:30pm today. The outlook is not good. Ghost Rider first showed up as a western themed character in 1967. A few years later Marvel moved Ghost Rider to the then modern time of 1972. Below is the Ghost Rider of the movie:

    One Two

    This below is Ghost Rider from Marvel Spotlight number 5 and Ghost Rider number 1:

    Three Four

    Next let’s take a look at some of the comments on Rotten Tomatoes Ghost Rider page.

    I kept hoping the Scooby Doo gang would come out, rip the mask off of Cage and reveal Ghost Rider really is crazy old man Ben Affleck! That would explain so much.
    Willie Waffle, WaffleMovies.com

    Ghost Rider reportedly cost $120 million to make. But the resulting cheesy CGI effects, bad sets and music and mugging by the actors, especially Cage, suggest you spent your life’s savings and ended up with a Yugo.
    James Verniere, Boston Herald

    It does not sound good at all. A quick IMDB check settles it. The same hack that did Daredevil directed Ghost Rider.

    Views: 1,368
    Sunday September 3rd 2006
    RiffTrax 5:23 pm-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad, Good, Movies Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    Do you miss having MST3K on tv? I know I do. Want to know the next best thing? Rifftrax. This is how they describe themselves:

    An innovative new site featuring the hilarious DVD commentaries of Michael J. Nelson, head writer and star of the legendary Mystery Science Theater 3000!

    For some that will be enough. Now do you think that Star Trek V: The Final Frontier is the worst of the Star Trek Movies? Well take Mike Nelson and add Kevin “Tom Servo” Murphy and you have one of the funniest movies ever. While listening to this during one scene I literally blasted pop out of my mouth as I took a sip while these guys delivered their jokes.

    The only downside is that for the 1.99-2.99 you get a mp3. You have to sync it up with the dvd. Either by watching the movie your computer and running the mp3 in whatever media player of your choice. They give you advance warning when to pause their rifftrax and when to start it again with the movie so it does sync up correctly. The only other option I guess would be to burn it on multiple cd’s. Not the easiest of solutions I think.

    So if you love MST3K and Hate Star Trek V this is a must have. For 2.99 it is a steal. Just make sure your not drinking any beverages while watching this because there is danger you will spit pop everywhere as laughter blasts out of you.

    Views: 1,118
    Thursday May 4th 2006
    Han Shoots First! 6:21 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Good Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    When the Star Wars movies were finally put out on DVD I was more than a little pissed off that Lucas decided to only issue the digitally remastered versions. Well in this on the official Star War site they announced that Lucas is putting out the good stuff in September.

    In response to overwhelming demand, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release attractively priced individual two-disc releases of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Each release includes the 2004 digitally remastered version of the movie and, as bonus material, the theatrical edition of the film.

    This release will only be available for a limited time: from September 12th to December 31st. International release will follow on or about the same day. Each original theatrical version will feature Dolby 2.0 Surround sound, close-captioning, and subtitles in English, French and Spanish for their U.S. release. International sound and subtitling vary by territory.

    They don't mention a price of course. The USA Today does.

    Their wishes will be granted Sept. 12 when Fox releases new two-disc DVDs ($30 each) of Star Wars (since retitled as Episode IV: A New Hope), The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi that include the films as they first appeared in theaters, along with the new, restored versions (now available in the four-disc $70 Star Wars Trilogy).

    These DVDs as stated above will have both old and new versions of the flicks. So let me ask you just how many goddamn times do I have to buy the original trilogy? I have the set of vhs when it was first put out. I have the cool boxed set with the widescreen versions. I have the vhs set of the special edition movies. And finally I have the DVD set that was put out in 2004.

    I just paid 70 bucks in 2004. And now I have to shell out 90 more dollars to buy shit I already own. And as much as I bitch you can bet your ass I'll be picking these up when they come out. It's just the idea of it. That fat fuck Lucas could have just done this in 2004. Beat that dead horse motherfucker. Fucking guy doesn't look like he's all that needy.

    George Lucas

    I guess some people will never have enough money. What can you do?

    Views: 943
    Tuesday November 1st 2005
    Good News 3:45 pm-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    Saw this over at Gawain’s Maybe, just maybe, we are free of Uwe Boll:

    Uwe Boll’s days as a human tax write-off are over: in January 2006, the Make Money By Investing In Failed Movies loophole will be closed. So, where is the guy going to get his funding now? Are you thinking what I’m thinking? FREEDOM!

    One can hope that his movie making days are numbered.

    Views: 876
    Friday July 8th 2005
    Fantastic Four 11:44 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    So is this guy full of shit or what? He says and I quote:

    Fine job, one and all. The direction, the story, the wowza special effects are excellent. Comic fans need to be aware that, as they’ve probably picked up from the previews, the story is different from the one presented by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby back in 1961, particularly as it relates to Dr. Doom.

    He goes on to say:

    If they are able to put that aside, fans can enjoy the movie for living up to the spirit of the Fab Four. I’d rate it a bit below Batman Begins but on par with the Spider-Man and X-Men flicks. And it’s way above Hulk and Daredevil.

    Which by this point the son of a bitch has blasphemed quite enough and I stop reading. Ok I didn’t really stop reading. I just don’t think the guy is qualified to make this kind of call. I also say that the changes to Doctor Doom are to much to overlook. I’m a firm believer that certain things like the origin of Doom can’t be altered. It takes away from just what Doom really is.

    It’s a moot point of course as I have yet to see this movie. But in a few hours that will change. Then we will see if this guy is right or wrong. And I say he’s wrong.

    Views: 876
    Monday July 4th 2005
    Church of Galactus! 2:02 am-
    Comments Comments (0) Categories Bad Permalink Permalink
    1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)

    Well I found this not a moment to soon. I say this only because I hope and pray that the Big G will smite the infidels that made the (I’m quite positive it’s going to suck) new Fantastic Four movie. I’m really terribly afraid that if this movie is even a mild success that we will see a just as fucked up Galactus as this Doom origin having him on the fucking rocket with the FF.

    Views: 866
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