I’m playing WoW again. Here is a quick video of my Death Knight kicking some ass.

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This videos uses the xvid codec.

A gentleman (my code word for an asshole) comes in to the hotel at around two thirty in the morning. This gentleman has a bit of an attitude. I can tell he want things his way. It is a noble idea, I often wish things were my way. Here is sample text out of the totally make-believe Audit Manual that only resides in my head (or in the dreaming):

The Renting A Room Phase
Round One

Round one begins when the guest asks the rate and you (the night auditor) tell them what the rate is for that night. Usually there is only one round in the typical renting a room phase. Sometimes the guest will not like the rate offered. Sometimes they will ask for a discounted rate. In these cases you tell them what the discounted rate is for the given night. Generally speaking the guest will either except the rate you tell them and you check them in finishing the rent a room phase.

But sometimes the guest isn’t happy with the rate set by the owners/managers that you will quote to them. The guest acts like you personally have jacked up the rate just to piss all over them. This is not the case. You tell the guest the rate that the computer shows you. Simple as that. Contrary to some guest belief the rate is for a set period of time. This time does not start when the guest arrives at the hotel. These times are once again designated by the owner/manager types. Currently the check in time is at three pm and check out time is at twelve noon. If a guest comes in between those times the rate is still the same. On your shift of course. As a night auditor you shouldn’t worry yourself on what happens if someone comes in at eleven am that is for the people working at that time on if they should make them check out at noon still.

Round Two.

Round two begins when the guest leaves the hotel after hearing the rate from you and comes back in to the hotel a little later. Sometimes this time period can be from a few minutes to more than an hour till the guest comes back. As soon as they return round two of the renting a room phase begins.

Round two is typically initiated by the guest that is agitated easily. They are often the type that thinks everything should go there way. You do not argue with the guest in round two. You should never argue with a guest. Try always to keep a cool head when dealing with this type of guest. A smile is much more painful to this type of guest than it is being rude or acting in any manner than you would otherwise treat a nice guest.

Round two usually consists of the guest trying to negotiate a reduced rate. The only time to give this type of guest a reduced rate is when they either have one the before mentioned discounts or an owner/manager has directed you to do so before hand. You are not paid to come up with rates. Stick with what the computer tells you. There are a number of ways round two can proceed. Hopefully round two is a simple matter of the guest coming back and accepting the rate as you quoted from the computer and you check them in. Round two can be much more complicated depending on the type of guest you are dealing with. An example follows bellow:

A guest came at two thirty in the morning and asked the rate. The auditor told the guest the rate for that given night as quoted to the auditor from the computer. This guest is not happy with the rate the owner/manager has come up with and leaves the hotel. A few minutes later the same guest come back and once again inquires about the rates. Again the auditor repeats the same rates. The guest becomes irate and gets red-faced. The guest asks the auditor if the rate would still be the same if the guest had come in at four am.

The auditor points out that it is not four in the morning, that it is two thirty in the morning. The auditor furthermore tells the guest that even if the guest had indeed came in at four am that the rate would still be the same. The guest seems to get more irate because the auditor did not become rude or used any smart comments. The guest finally accepts the rate and takes a business card of the auditor’s manager.

“Is this you?” the guest asks the auditor.

The auditor responds with a smile. “No sir that is the business card of the manager that makes up the rates and the rules I follow for how to check in people.”

The guest then grumbles as he goes back out to his car to get his family. The auditor makes sure to wish the guest and his family a good night when they all come in to go to their room

Remember in cases like the above example it is important to not lose your cool. This type of guest wants you to say something rude or for you to use some kind of smart comment. It is very important to stick to the same polite manner your give every guest.

If as in the example a guest either tells you they will talk to your manager about you or they try to be sly like in the example never loose your composure. You did as you were trained. You have nothing to fear. Never apologize for following rates and procedures your owner/managers come up with. As long as you don’t partake in the mass genocide of the guest it is perfectly acceptable to stick to the “just following orders” way of thinking.

Thus ends my highly sarcastic way of telling about how a bit of my night went. Maybe later I may commit to paper some of the written descriptions of the various guest a night auditor would come in to contact with in this my make-believe Auditor Manual.

Diablo II Multiple Resolution Patch. Awesome.

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Found it here.

So we have had about two real games of dnd so far. The 4th and the vacation killed a few Saturday games. This second game though has the beginnings of what I wanted in the first place. A good long campaign to keep me entertained. Man, I had fun.

The group is playing The Scales of War an adventure path from the Dungeon magazine. We just started the first part of this and it’s called  Rescue at Rivenroar. It starts out with the player characters relaxing and drinking at a tavern. Not too long after, monsters of course bust in and try to start some shit.

A recap on the players.

My Niece (age 9) playing a Cleric
My Nephew (age 8) playing a Fighter
The DM’s Kid (age 8) playing a Wizard
The Newb (age 35) playing a Paladin
Me (age 37) playing a Fighter

So once the first combat started till the end of the session a few things of note happened. Shows the different egos or attitudes at play.

First was the argument between me and the Pally about where the Wizard should plant his fire spell. The thing does 1 burst damage which means where it’s fired off it flows out in every direction around the place it was ignited. Basically I wanted the Wizard to fire it off in a spot that would hit three monsters. The Pally wanted one square back so it only hit the two monsters. The way I wanted it to go would make it hit me and the Pally as well as the three monsters. The Pally wanted it to just target the two monsters in the back and spare the good guys any friendly fire. Now I felt it was an acceptable risk to hit where I wanted. I would rather see three monsters hurt than two. Both the Pally and I have good hitpoints and armor class. We could have took it. There was a good chance the Wizard would miss us anyway. I backed down and let the Pally have it his way.

The next point that I enjoyed was after the combat was over and we got to do some talking to npc’s. Generally speaking this is the shit I hate. I’m the type that clicks through the quest text in mmo’s like WoW. I want to kill shit. This time it was different. We had a monster to interrogate. A monster who was held in a stockade. It couldn’t get to us. Man, I couldn’t wait for two reasons: First, I was going to see how far I could push the DM with my kind of bullshit. Second, I just couldn’t pass up the chance to fuck with a monster Jack Bauer style.

There were a few roadblocks to get through before I could mess with the monster. There were guards around that would not allow the monster to come to any harm that would cause it to not be able to stand trial for its bad deeds. So first I had to get rid of the pesky guards. I had the Wizard use Ghost Sound.

Ghost Sound Wizard Cantrips 1
With a wink, you create an illusory sound that emanates from somewhere close by.
At-Will, Arcane, Illusion
Standard Action Ranged 10
Target: One object or unoccupied square
Effect: You cause a sound as quiet as a whisper or as loud as a yelling or fighting creature to emanate from the target. You can produce nonvocal sounds such as the ringing of a sword blow, jingling armor, or scraping stone. If you whisper, you can whisper quietly enough that only creatures adjacent to the target can hear your words.

So with this I had him create the sounds of battle in the distance. Four of the six guards took off to check it out. The last two I managed to convince that I would not kill the monster. So there was no worry if it would miss hanging at the gallows after it was found guilty at a trial.

So I introduced myself to the monster and played the nice guy. I asked it about its base of operations and its leader. We even had the Pally speak goblin to it in hopes it would play ball and give us good info. After it was done I went up to it and leaned close to its face and told it if it was lying I would come back and kill it. To prove my threat I pulled one of my longswords out and pressed it up against the right side of its head and cut its ear off.

The kids were of course very amused that I was behaving this way. I just wanted to get a feel for how far one could go with this DM. Next time in addition to another ear (for my new necklace I’m making) I’m going see if the DM will let me cut off a monsters testicles. I want to build a name for myself in the game world. Plus it’s damn fun to abuse the poor monsters in this manner. But somehow I doubt I’m the first player to do so.

I can’t wait for next weeks game. Hopefully more monsters will learn to fear the name Turk Shakespeare.