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Thursday January 25th 2001
Time To Move On 5:10 am-
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It seems every once in a while I run into someone who inadvertently reminds me of one of my mistakes. It gets me thinking about things I have done. Things I have said. Things I just regret. Things I wish I could snap my fingers and undo. Does anyone else think this way? Or is it just me? I can be a sentimental fool some times.

I of course spend time thinking about these mistakes. I try to psychoanalyze where and when I made the mistake and what I could have done to correct the mistake. And I can come up with some rational approaches. None of which I did when the mistakes were made. That’s not my way. I shoot first and ask questions later. None of this will make sense to anyone who doesn’t know me. It could even leave those who know me in the dark. This is a hard subject to talk about, because the person involved doesn’t want me to talk about it.

This person (yeah a girl) and me had a parting of ways. My fault. She later asked me for some help and I was less than civil. I was outright rude and insulting in a way she would be able to pick up. At that point I was a little man. Bruised ego. Stupidity. Whatever you want to call it. I was wrong in the way I handled the situation. I think I did a good enough job that she won’t ever see this. But I just felt like doing this. I have never been good at apologizing. I have only apologized for my action twice in my life. I don’t like being wrong.

I’m wrong. I wish I could tell her how sorry I am. She never did anything to be at blame for any of what happened. I regret my inadequacies. I didn’t plain for things to happen the way they did. I knew what would happen. It was my own fault. I should have walked away, the moment we became friends. Melodrama. I can only damn her for being her.

It had to be said. Tom Petty put it this way:

Time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It’s time to move on, it’s time to get going

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