Here is a contact email I got and it reminds me that I need to address this kind of thing in the faq.

Hey Turk, got a question for you, it’d go better on the forum but registration is close :(

I’m working at a startup hotel, can you give any suggestions for some good front desk software systems? We’ve got a lot of work to do to get this started but the software will be the best investment for the future, so cost is relevant but not completely limiting. Thanks!

I’ve used three systems total. Encore, WinPM, and now Opera. I don’t have a clue what the stuff costs. I’m just an auditor when I’m not on the internet. I really don’t have a clue what this stuff costs. I’m sure a google search would reveal the answers you are looking for better than I can.

About the forum. With registrations open all of the scum of the net sign up to post spam. So I closed it down. The forum does mention how to get a forum account. It requires more work than the usual simple forum registration I suppose. But until the scum of the net die it is just the way it is.Reprinted below is a slightly altered text one can find on the night audit page.

1. Fill out the Contact Us form found here.
2. Enter your name and real email address.
3. Make sure to select the Registration Invite option for the subject.
4. Answer the random question to prove your not a spammer.
5. Leave a desired username (can be different than the name you put in the your name text box) and password in the message text box.
6. Hit send.
7. Wait for me to email with your forum details.

I did recently buy the vBulletin 4.0 upgrade. When I get around to installing it I will turn back on registrations (temporally) to see how it handles net spam scum.

I had to go get a crib for a guest and this below is what I saw:

It made me think of the pictures the Fail Blog has. I imagine you got to blame dumb bellman. I’m glad whomever did it can’t read. It gave me a good laugh.

A gentleman (my code word for an asshole) comes in to the hotel at around two thirty in the morning. This gentleman has a bit of an attitude. I can tell he want things his way. It is a noble idea, I often wish things were my way. Here is sample text out of the totally make-believe Audit Manual that only resides in my head (or in the dreaming):

The Renting A Room Phase
Round One

Round one begins when the guest asks the rate and you (the night auditor) tell them what the rate is for that night. Usually there is only one round in the typical renting a room phase. Sometimes the guest will not like the rate offered. Sometimes they will ask for a discounted rate. In these cases you tell them what the discounted rate is for the given night. Generally speaking the guest will either except the rate you tell them and you check them in finishing the rent a room phase.

But sometimes the guest isn’t happy with the rate set by the owners/managers that you will quote to them. The guest acts like you personally have jacked up the rate just to piss all over them. This is not the case. You tell the guest the rate that the computer shows you. Simple as that. Contrary to some guest belief the rate is for a set period of time. This time does not start when the guest arrives at the hotel. These times are once again designated by the owner/manager types. Currently the check in time is at three pm and check out time is at twelve noon. If a guest comes in between those times the rate is still the same. On your shift of course. As a night auditor you shouldn’t worry yourself on what happens if someone comes in at eleven am that is for the people working at that time on if they should make them check out at noon still.

Round Two.

Round two begins when the guest leaves the hotel after hearing the rate from you and comes back in to the hotel a little later. Sometimes this time period can be from a few minutes to more than an hour till the guest comes back. As soon as they return round two of the renting a room phase begins.

Round two is typically initiated by the guest that is agitated easily. They are often the type that thinks everything should go there way. You do not argue with the guest in round two. You should never argue with a guest. Try always to keep a cool head when dealing with this type of guest. A smile is much more painful to this type of guest than it is being rude or acting in any manner than you would otherwise treat a nice guest.

Round two usually consists of the guest trying to negotiate a reduced rate. The only time to give this type of guest a reduced rate is when they either have one the before mentioned discounts or an owner/manager has directed you to do so before hand. You are not paid to come up with rates. Stick with what the computer tells you. There are a number of ways round two can proceed. Hopefully round two is a simple matter of the guest coming back and accepting the rate as you quoted from the computer and you check them in. Round two can be much more complicated depending on the type of guest you are dealing with. An example follows bellow:

A guest came at two thirty in the morning and asked the rate. The auditor told the guest the rate for that given night as quoted to the auditor from the computer. This guest is not happy with the rate the owner/manager has come up with and leaves the hotel. A few minutes later the same guest come back and once again inquires about the rates. Again the auditor repeats the same rates. The guest becomes irate and gets red-faced. The guest asks the auditor if the rate would still be the same if the guest had come in at four am.

The auditor points out that it is not four in the morning, that it is two thirty in the morning. The auditor furthermore tells the guest that even if the guest had indeed came in at four am that the rate would still be the same. The guest seems to get more irate because the auditor did not become rude or used any smart comments. The guest finally accepts the rate and takes a business card of the auditor’s manager.

“Is this you?” the guest asks the auditor.

The auditor responds with a smile. “No sir that is the business card of the manager that makes up the rates and the rules I follow for how to check in people.”

The guest then grumbles as he goes back out to his car to get his family. The auditor makes sure to wish the guest and his family a good night when they all come in to go to their room

Remember in cases like the above example it is important to not lose your cool. This type of guest wants you to say something rude or for you to use some kind of smart comment. It is very important to stick to the same polite manner your give every guest.

If as in the example a guest either tells you they will talk to your manager about you or they try to be sly like in the example never loose your composure. You did as you were trained. You have nothing to fear. Never apologize for following rates and procedures your owner/managers come up with. As long as you don’t partake in the mass genocide of the guest it is perfectly acceptable to stick to the “just following orders” way of thinking.

Thus ends my highly sarcastic way of telling about how a bit of my night went. Maybe later I may commit to paper some of the written descriptions of the various guest a night auditor would come in to contact with in this my make-believe Auditor Manual.

It seems the good hotel has a few “less than computer savvy” employees. I’m not the most follow the rules type of guy at a workplace. But if your going to be stupid enough to download a torrent of the movie Boondock Saints at work you may want to stop the torrent from seeding when its quitting time.

Well about one year and one month after my first raise with this new hotel I get this in my email from my boss:

To: Turk
Date: Jul 2, 2008 3:15 PM
Subject: FYI:

A late welcome back from your week away. I wanted to let you know, there is a change in your pay rate, your new rate of pay increase is $0.35.

This will show on your check that will be here on Thursday.

Talk to you soon.

This is the first time for two things. First he welcomed me back from vacation. Next I got another raise. At the worst hotel ever things were so different. The post marks the last time I got a raise at the shithole. And the way I was greeted from the end of vacation was getting fired.

I did not even ask for a raise. I did not hint about the idea of getting a raise even. The place continues to surprise me in a good way.

So the two ladies come down to the desk. They both have key problems. The one lady gives the correct room number for her keys. The second lady gets some numbers mixed up and tells me the wrong number. This is an important part of this story.

So two ladies come down because their keys are not working in their room doors. I ask them if when the key were used if the lock flashed a green light or a red light. Red they say. I reply that this is a good thing. They ask why this is a good thing. I tell them that it is good because it means that neither the lock is broken or they (the guests) did it wrong.

That is when the lady who tells me the wrong room number for her keys corrects me that the guest is always right. The old lady scolded me like I was some kid who told a lie. The customers are generally speaking always wrong. I will not spit out this manager bullshit speak about the customers always being right. It is a gigantic load of shit.

So I go about my business making the right keys for the lady who did not put her foot in her mouth. For my costumer who says she is always right I make the keys for the room number she gave me. This was the wrong room. The keys will work, but it is not the room this know it all is in.

The bit with me giving her the keys to the wrong room was chance. I did not check to see if it was wrong or right. Fate stepped in and provided all with proof that the customer is not always right. The even better part was when they came for the correct keys the always right customer did not come down to get them. I made it a point to ask if the keys were for the lady who said customers were always right. The lady who came for the keys said yes. I smiled and gave her the keys for the old lady who thinks customers are always right. Vacation starts tomorrow. Nine glorious days off.

I was checking some links that lead to me and found Wikipedia’s entry Night Auditor. Wikipedia has a textbook description of what a Night Auditor is and what they do. Here is the first paragraph:

A night auditor is a hotel employee who typically handles both the duties of the front desk agent and some of the duties of the accounting department. This is necessitated by the fact that most fiscal days close at or around midnight, and the normal workday of the employees in the accounting department does not extend to cover this time of day.

Very textbook. It lacks the real world flavor that this Everything2.com entry has:

“Night Auditor” is the glorified term for a hotel front desk clerk that works the graveyard shift (typically 11 P.M. to 7 A.M). This is a nice job if you don’t like dealing with people, but those few that you do have to deal with tend to be mentally ill and/or intoxicated. An upside to this job is that you’re likely to be hired or keep this job despite your incompetence or criminal record, as no one else is willing to work this shift. The usual tasks involved in this job include checking guests in and out of the hotel, running end-of-day reports for the management, making coffee for the early birds, and playing lots and lots of solitaire. Common symptoms of being a night auditor include the inability to see in the sunlight and considering more than one car sharing the road with you to be “traffic.”

This was funny enough for me to write about. I also feel it is a dead on description on what night audit is really like today. The Wikipedia entry may have been more accurate ten years ago or perhaps in a big hotel. I know my job is more like Everything2.com description. Back in the day I did some accounting type duties, but not anymore. Which I think is one of the side effects of some of the software that hotels use. It’s easier for the computer to do the accounting end than it is for the dumb human that is hired to do the night audit.