So my website is now twelve years old. That’s all I got to say.

So I’m trying to upgrade to version 4 of vBulletin. This is the paid forum software I use. The shiny new version came out on the 21st and I want to use the thing I paid 160 bucks for. I’m not getting far. Right off the bat I got SQL errors at step 3 of 12:

Database error in vBulletin 3.8.4:

Invalid SQL:
INSERT INTO vb3_tagcontent
(tagid, contenttypeid, contentid, userid, dateline)
SELECT tagid, 2, threadid, userid, dateline
FROM vb3_tagthread;

MySQL Error : Duplicate entry ‘2-2-3068′ for key 1
Error Number : 1062

I posted in the support forums and put in a support ticket. The forum got the fastest reply from someone inside vBulletin. Someone named Trevor told me to:

• drop all vB database tables
• restore your 3.8.4 backup
• check that ‘tagcontent’ doesnt already exist in the restored database (if it does, drop it)
• re-run install/upgrade.php

This got on past step 3. The next roadblock was an button that lead me in an infinite loop. Which was because not all my attachment folders were chmoded 777. After that I got another SQL error:

Database error in vBulletin 3.8.4:

Invalid SQL:
INSERT INTO vb3_attachment
(contenttypeid, contentid, filename, state, reportthreadid, userid, caption, dateline)
VALUES
(8, 3, ‘8.jpg’, ‘visible’, 0, 325, ‘32545ee6763ba347′, 1199857445);

MySQL Error : Unknown column ‘contenttypeid’ in ‘field list’
Error Number : 1054

Which at this point I hit a brick wall. To get past this last error here is what was posted:

It looks like you skipped a previous step that altered the attachment table.

But the bigger issue is that you have not uploaded all the vB 4 file. Look in the upper right-hand corner. It lists 3.8.4 instead of 4.0.0.

First restroe the backup of the 3.8.4 database that you made prior to this upgrade attempt. Then upload all the 4.0.0 files again. Make sure you upload these in ASCII format, overwrite the ones on the server, and that version 4.0.0 shows in the upper right-hand corner of the page.

After you have the correct versions showing, run ‘upgrade.php’ again.

Best regards,
Steve Machol
Customer Support Manager, vBulletin

Now as I told him in my reply to the support ticket I have done everything as he instructed. I point this out to the guy. A few times. And get this:

I’m sorry but it’s not possible to get that error if you followed my instructions. Please follow them to the letter. Make sure this is a clean 3.8.3 database you start with.

Best regards,
Steve Machol
Customer Support Manager, vBulletin

I call him out on the typo and he once again tells me that it’s not the software it’s me:

Sorry, I meant 3.8.4 not 3.8.3. Simple typo.

Here are my instructions again.

First restore the backup of the 3.8.4 database that you made prior to this upgrade attempt. Then upload all the 4.0.0 files again. Make sure you upload these in ASCII format, overwrite the ones on the server, and that version 4.0.0 shows in the upper right-hand corner of the page.

After you have the correct versions showing, run ‘upgrade.php’ again.

Note: You cannot get that same error if you follow those instructions and that 3.8.4 database was clean, i.e., there was no previous attempt to upgrade it.

Best regards,
Steve Machol
Customer Support Manager, vBulletin

I’m to the point now were I’m banging my head against that brick wall. In between this guy telling me I’m doing it wrong I inquire about how one gets a refund. Here is the reply I get on the refund subject:

Since you have already downloaded the software I can offer a refund minus a $25 administrative fee. Let me know if you want us to proceed with this refund.

Best regards,
Steve Machol
Customer Support Manager, vBulletin

And that’s were I’m at. Kinda stuck on if I should just give up and get my 160 (minus the 25 bucks) back or wait for these guys to come up with a solution to the problem. I will update later with what I decide to do.

Edit
So I took the refund. After reading vBTruth.com I think I’ve made the right choice. It’s not like my forums are active anyway.

It’s turkey day. Which is my favorite holiday. I’m at my brother’s house were technical difficulties have paused the cooking of the turkey. After a little fire clean up everything will be back on track.

Chat log time. This time it’s how I learned to like House M.D. after rejecting the idea of watching it many times.

Session Start: Sun Dec 07 2008
[12:38] Gawain: man this chick in House is crazy hot.
[12:39] Turk: who?
[12:39] Turk: I can’t watch that show
[12:39] Turk: seeing the dumb prince from Blackadder acting smart gives me limpdick
[12:40] Gawain: this chick.
[12:41] Turk: yum I would eat her on a cracker
[12:41] Gawain: yeah.
[12:42] Gawain: all the chicks on the show are crazy hot really.

Session Start: Sat Jan 24 2009
[04:17] Gawain: woo! new house MD!
[04:17] Turk: bah

Session Start: Sat Jun 13 2009
[06:27] Gawain: yeah. Initially I used to hate medical shows too. The guys on SA kept talking abotu how awesome house was, but it took me until like season 4 to download ep1 of season 1 and give it a shot. I used to HATE er.
[06:28] Turk: can’t do house
[06:28] Turk: dude is too good as a bumbling idiot in Blackadder
[06:28] Turk: and I refuse to watch him as anything else
[06:28] Gawain: I really like it. im not sure if its my favorite show, but its probably in the top 3.
[06:28] Gawain: have you ever watched it?
[06:28] Turk: no
[06:28] Turk: can’t
[06:29] Turk: dude isn’t a complete fucking moron
[06:29] Turk: you’ve seen him in Blackadder?
[06:29] Gawain: you should give ep1 a shot, honestly. the humor is so black. yeah hes a super genius sort of in this one. hes also addicted to pain killers and a complete asshole.
[06:29] Gawain: yeah.
[06:29] Turk: just can’t

Session Start: Thu Jun 18 2009
[05:20] Gawain: lets see. The only other show I can recommend is House, which I have recommended before. before you go crazy, please remember that I am 2 for 2 or 3 for 3 now.
[05:20] Turk: no house

Session Start: Thu Jun 18 2009
[05:26] Gawain: my plan once I get laid off is to drive over there, pick up some booze, and force you to watch house. I didn’t like that one. it was too corny for me. especially the mid air fight.
[05:27] Turk: eh
[05:27] Turk: not watched it yet
[05:27] Turk: fuck house
[05:27] Gawain: see I think you would really like it if you watched it.
[05:27] Turk: I’ll get you even more booze and make you watch Blackadder till you can’t watch house anymore
[05:27] Gawain: I liked black adder. I like house more.
[05:28] Turk: you know what fine
[05:29] Gawain: hahahah
[05:30] Gawain: Demonoid link
[05:31] Turk: 7 in the first season?
[05:31] Gawain: if you hurry you can catch up to season 6 before it starts.
[05:31] Gawain: 22
[05:31] Turk: I stand committed to my not going to like it
[05:31] Turk: eh
[05:31] Gawain: ok, but you have to watch at least 3-5 episodes before you quit.
[05:31] Turk: oh fine
[05:32] Turk: there’s 7 of the first season on pirates bay
[05:33] Turk: first 5 queued up
[05:33] Gawain: ok
[05:33] Gawain: I was hooked in season 1 but I can’t honestly remember if it was from the pilot or not. i think it was.

Session Start: Thu Jun 18 2009
[05:59] Gawain: wow im getting almost 600kbs to download season 1 of house.
[06:00] Turk: the whole season?
[06:00] Turk: where you get it?
[06:00] Gawain: demonoid.
[06:01] Turk: well if Iike these I’ll find it there
[06:01] Turk: first one down
[06:04] Gawain: im gonna watch season 1 again I don’
[06:04] Gawain: dont remember it.

Session Start: Thu Jun 18 2009
[07:44] Turk: I just don’t like it
[07:44] Turk: he’s not a fucking moron
[07:45] Gawain: eh, im not going to make you watch it. Still, the season finale of season 5 was the best finale ive ever seen on tv. and if you don’t watch all the previous seasons you can’t enjoy how awesome it is. But if you don’t like the show you wouldn’t like it anyway so no big.
[07:45] Turk: I’m watching it
[07:46] Turk: just not right him being smart and sarcastic
[07:46] Turk: it’s not bad
[07:46] Turk: its just got to much stacked against it for me to like it
[07:46] Turk: one its a medical show
[07:46] Gawain: dude, if you make it through to the end of season five, it will blow your damn mind.
[07:46] Turk: dude is a damn good actor
[07:46] Turk: ok
[07:46] Turk: I’m watching
[07:47] Turk: I miss his brit accent
[07:47] Turk: but…
[07:47] Turk: the dude is growing on me
[07:47] Gawain: I actually had to watch the finale AGAIN after I watched it the first time, because once you find out whats going on, there are clues throughout the whole episode.
[07:49] Turk: ok ok I fucking like it
[07:50] Gawain: lol really.
[07:50] Turk: gimmie a link the that first season torrent
[07:50] Turk: yes fucker
[07:50] Turk: I like that he doesn’t like dealing with people
[07:54] Turk: loved his first patient interaction
[07:55] Gawain: yeah its always great when he actually has to deal with patients. it never fails to entertain.
[08:01] Turk: fuck you really
[08:01] Turk: now I can’t watch blackadder again
[08:01] Turk: really this is good
[08:03] Gawain: heh. whats my score now?
[08:03] Gawain: or as I like to call it. my awesome quota
[08:03] Turk: fuck who’s counting
[08:03] Turk: yeah yeah

So I’m back to work. The vacation was nice. Nine days away from the workplace is always a good thing. It’s also nice knowing I still have another week of paid vacation left. I look forward to taking another nine days off.

It is once again time for vacation. I’m taking one week of paid vacation. With my usual days off the total time away from work is nine wonderful days off. I’m going to take two days and go again with the Newbs to Wisconsin Dells. I had a lot of fun when we went last time.

The Charter repair guy fixed my net. It turns out the actual cable was bad and dude had to replace it. You can’t imagine how happy I am right now. I can surf for porn and torrents again.