I’ve been finding myself wasting a lot of time browsing through Hot or Not and I have come up with some crazy notions. Hot or Not (for those of you not in the know) is this virtual meat market where one can toss up a picture to have the vast wild and horny internet judge if your picture is “hot or not”.

Now I’ve decided I like Hot or Not for the same reasons I dig the idea of strip clubs. I can take a look at the offerings of these women without having to get involved in any manner. It’s all done without worrying if I know the chick or not. Which is a big deal for me. I completely loose all ability to function in the proper manner when it comes to these kinds of things when it turn out I know the ladies in question. Which is another story all together.

So while I clicked on the Hot or Not scale from 1 to 10 on these ladies I came up with a set of rules that would determine just how I would vote. After a while it became a game. And after noting that my lazy ass hadn’t written in a while I figured this would be an ice change of pace from my hotel bitching and Game stuff. Below I offer my very loose set of rules for how I vote for the ladies of Hot or Not:

Hot
Cleavage
Under Garments
More Cleavage
You and Your Girlfriend
Your Naked?
Looking All Drunk
Lot’s of Cleavage
Cowboy Hats
Did I mention Cleavage?

Not
Small Pictures
Your Pet
Your Kid
Your Boyfriend
Cross Eyed
Badly Cropped Photos
Your Car

Now each of these things can raise or lower on just how I decide to vote depending if it’s under hot (which can raise the score) or if it’s not (which lowers the score). And keep in mind that while on the internet I like to keep my male chauvinistic ways in high gear.

I’ve also noticed that I tend to rate redheads a little higher. Which really is no big surprise as I have a fondness for redheads. I also tend to score lower on pictures that have groups of people blacked out. If your to lazy to get a photo of just you you deserve the score of 1. I also can’t stand these people that feel the need to make a montage pic. You know the ones with 5 or 6 pictures edited into one picture. That rates an automatic 1. It’s to much information. I want to see one picture. Make that one worth it.

I also can’t stand black and white pictures. It’s the 21st century for christ sake. Color is good when it comes to these things. I don’t want to see poorly done photoshopped backgrounds either. That pisses me off. And would it kill you to smile? I don’t want to see pictures from a wedding, prom, or any other gathering of people. And none of this class picture shit either. If your last good picture was a class picture then it’s time to call it quits before you even think about putting a picture up.