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  • Turk: No I’m not currently working the hotel business. Which is probably a good thing.
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Monday August 22nd 2016
Weekly Weigh In 11:55 pm-
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So my exercise and dieting seems to be working. This week I weighed in at 368.4. Last week I was 369.6. I may have ate a bit more this last week because of some of the stuff going on in the family. I’m going to work on not stress eating. But overall I will take the 1 pound I lost this week as a good thing and try harder as for next week.

Views: 35
Monday August 15th 2016
Weekly Weigh In 8:53 am-
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I walked just about 3 miles (round trip) today. It was exactly 2.8 miles according to my cars odometer. So the good news is today I weighed myself and I’m now 369.6.

The bad news is that on Tuesday (the 9th) the day after I weighed myself in at 371.8 I ate like I used to. I had two sandwiches at lunch. I ate supper and then a few hours later I had two peanut butter sandwiches and a pile of chips. I didn’t weigh myself until Friday the 12th. I had gone up. I weighed 374.3 that Friday. It was dumb I know. But I wanted to see how much weight I would gain from how I used to eat. Again really stupid.

I had to see for myself that I was actually losing weight. It wasn’t real until I saw the numbers go down for myself. Today I even weighed myself three times just to make sure the digital scale wasn’t playing tricks on me. I still doubt it to be honest. I won’t really be happy until I can see it myself when I look in a mirror. But I’m going to keep at it.

Views: 79
Monday August 8th 2016
State of Health 10:35 am-
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Once again its been a while since I wrote anything of substance. It well over two years ago I wrote about my state of health. Now I like to think my mental health is in much better shape since I wrote that post. No this time I’m writing about the state of my physical health. I have started to do something about getting myself a little more healthy.

I wish I could say the whole thing started because of some noble purpose of living longer and shit like that. The truth is I had been messing around with streaming video using YouTube and OBS Studio. This was around the middle of may. I did a few videos of me playing the new Doom. This OBS software can do picture in picture type of thing so I setup my webcam to show my face while I played.

As you can see from the video above I ditched the idea of picture in picture. The reason was once I saw myself in motion on the screen I couldn’t believe what an incredible fat fuck I was. Seeing myself made me decide I wanted to do something about the me I saw in the streaming video. I deleted the video needless to say.

So that was the middle of May. First thing I did was start walking with my dad everyday (except Saturday and Sunday). Exercise was something I needed badly. Without it I would never loose weight. It was also the hardest thing for me to do. I started with trying to ride a bike each day. This ended in me breaking the old bike of my Dad’s twice. Twice because my Dad fixed it the first time. I took it out again and not even thirty minutes into the ride I broke it again. So I had to walk. And I hate walking. It is bad enough with the bike that I had to go outside. But walking just seems to make being outside even worse. If you can’t guess I’m not the kind of guy who goes outside a lot. My Dad often says I’m an Otaku. Which I disagree with the idea I am one. Anyway. So walking it was. I started the first few weeks doing a roundtrip walk of about .8 of a mile. Two weeks later I was doing 1.4. Now I’m doing 1.9. Eventually I want to work up to maybe 3 miles roundtrip.

So with the exercise taken care of (for now later I may start lifting weights) I needed to do something about my food intake. I used to eat one big meal with frequent junk food intakes before or after or both. Now I’m not really dieting in any sense of the word I’m sure. What I’ve done is very basic. First My sister in law told me I needed to eat three meals a day. Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. Something about doing three meals a day helps the bodies metabolism or something. So I eat three meals a day now. The second thing is I halved the food I do eat. For example I would make two sandwiches and a the plate piled high with chips or I would cook six or seven chicken strips and a baking tray full of tater tots. I ate more than I needed. My Dad told me I needed to be under 2000 calories daily to loose weight. I don’t know if I do that daily I’m not counting calories yet.

But I try to eat sensibly (at least for me). I eat cereal every morning now. Wheat Chex and on the weekend I reward myself with Honey Nut Cheerios. Breakfast is the only meal I actually measure to make sure its the daily recommended amount on the box. Lunch I do one sandwich on a high fiber bread (either FiberOne Country White or Healthy Life White) and one handful of chips and some carrots. For dinner I try to half whatever it was I used to eat. For example. Tacos, I used to eat 10 tacos. Because the box of knock off Doritos Shells came 10 to a box and they are tacos! Now I eat 3 Tacos. When I eat chicken strips I cook two with a maybe a quarter of the baking tray of tater tots (or french fries). At some point I may start counting calories.

So lets talk weight now. Last year at my last doctors visit I weighed in at around 388. Om July 25th I went to see the doctor and I weighed 377. Today after my walk I weighed myself and I’m now 371.8. So I think what I’m doing is working. I’m going to probably start posting more here on my poor neglected website once a week to weigh in. I was pretty damn happy when I weighed myself this morning. I’ve not felt this good in awhile. I’m going to keep focused on this feeling.

Views: 139
Tuesday November 10th 2015
5 Times! 2:59 am-
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Fuck the hotel business.

MY CHEEVOS!
MORE CHEEVOS!
EVEN MORE CHEEVOS!
achievement-02

I just got to get all of those achievements.

Views: 1,177
Tuesday January 27th 2015
Dying Light Mods 11:36 pm-
Comments Comments (0) Categories Downloads, Games Permalink Permalink

Guess what I’m playing. Extract either of these into Users\YourName\Documents\DyingLight\out The first one adds guns and ammo to the quartermaster found in the beginning of the game. The second one removes the Film Grain and Noise effects.

Downloads: 356 Size: 11.15 KB Version: 1.0 Updated: January 28, 2015
Downloads: 367 Size: 1.3 KB Version: 1.0 Updated: January 28, 2015
Views: 2,295
Wednesday April 16th 2014
New MMO 4:29 am-
Comments Comments (0) Categories MMO's Permalink Permalink

So I’ve been playing Elder Scrolls Online. Something I said I wouldn’t do. I played the beta a few times when they offered it on the weekends. I didn’t care for it at that time. But I guess I’m so desperate for a new mmo that I bought this when I had money to blow. Here are some very boring shots of the Character select screen:

Turk Level 17 Aricka Level 8 Yurk Level 7 Stabu Level 5 Hot Tits Level 5

Overall it’s a kinda bland mmo. It has no soul really. It sometimes feels like a Elder Scrolls game with the way the quests are done. But then it blows it with the whole way the classes are handled. It’s not at all like the single player game. In the mmo each class is limited to what they can ultimaley can do. Sure they all have access to the same weapons and armor. That in it’s self is petty cools and very Elder Scrolls. But then each of the named classes Dragonknight, Sorcerer, Nightblade, and Templar all each have their own set of three class specific skill lines. So a Sorcerer can’t take skills from a Dragonknight. That right there is were it totally loses the Elder Scrolls feeling.

Right now though it will do. Wildstar is comes out June 3rd. Which hopefully will be pretty fun. I mean I know it’s fun since I have played it in one of the betas. But I hope it’s become more fun since then. I know they just updated the ui recently. So it’s good to see changes happen this close to release.

Views: 3,520
Tuesday January 28th 2014
This And That 10:47 pm-
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Time to kick the dust off of this. Been a long time since I wrote anything. I’m not sure where to start.

So let me start with the bad part of all this. For the last few months I’ve been feeling pretty down. It’s got to the point in the beginning of this month that I was actually thinking about killing myself. I’ve been feeling like I’m nothing but a failure at everything. Got no family of my own. Got a job I don’t honestly like. So I was starting to look at the only way out was by doing myself in. I planned on doing it by Carbon monoxide poisoning via my car. I went as far as trying it out for a few minutes before I chickened out. All this led me to a website called Lost All Hope. This site changed the way I was looking at my problems.

It was at this point I called and made a doctor’s appointment. I knew more or less that suicide wasn’t really an answer to what I thought was my problems. It was the Help Me pages that really made me come around. This bit in particular:

Think for a minute. Have you always felt like you do right now? The chances are, there were times in your life where you did not. Which means something in your life changed to get you where you are now. But that also means that something can change to get you away from where you are now. Seriously – life is changing all the time – yours included. Surely there were other times you felt really low and something happened to make you feel brighter?

It goes on about actually talking to someone. Which I did. I told my Dad everything I was feeling. He agreed this was serious enough that I should go see a doctor. I didn’t even think that was an option. I thought this was something only shrinks would deal with. I was wrong. The doctor talked with me and prescribed me Citalopram. So for the first time in my life I’m on an anti-depressant. It seems to be working. I’ve come out of my funk and I feel more positive. I know know I need to handle my problems.

Theres three areas that I consider as my problems that was getting my down. First is the fact I do feel like I’m a complete failure. The second thing is I really hate my job. And thirdly (and this surprised me) I feel alone.

The first is the thought I’m a complete failure. Which does have a lot to do with the two other items. I’m not where I thought I would be when I was back in high school. I had wanted to be a comic book artist. I had a girlfriend who encouraged me about going to school for it. I had even got in to a school called the Joe Kubert School of Cartoon and Graphic Art, which I didn’t go to because I was afraid of leaving home. I lost touch with the girl because I couldn’t handle that she was having feelings for me that I couldn’t handle as an eighteen year old. It’s these two things that I see as the big mistakes in my life. I spent a lot of time wondering if only I had done it all differently. Granted I know if I had did it all different there is no guarantee that I would be happier. It just something I’ve wasted more time than needed worrying about.

The job I hate is the second thing. It’s not something I’ve talked about at all here on my website. For good reason. This is the website that has gotten me fired three times. Needless to say I’ve been working in a call center and I don’t like it. There are these things called CSATS that worry me to no end and it was part of what was driving me to wanting to end it all. This isn’t something I want to get into here on my blog. Needless to say I’m looking for another job.

The third thing is that I’m alone. I didn’t think that kind of thing bothered me. But it does, more than I thought. It was the realization that I miss how me and my niece and nephew used to hang out. These kids are now going to be 15 and 14 respectively and they don’t need the services of their old uncle any more. This really bugged me once I realized this was something that was a factor in all of this. Now granted I can’t and would want to make these kids hang out with a 41 year old like myself. They have their own friends now to do stuff with. To fight this idea of loneliness theres a couple things I’m going to do. First I’ve got my actual brother who has a lovely kid. My “real” niece is getting to be the age now where you can do stuff with her. She already loves to play on my iPod Touch when ever I come over. So I got one more young person I can corrupt that can keep me from thinking I’m all alone. The second thing I’m considering doing is signing up at one of those dating sites. Not for love or anything. But maybe just to find a like minded chick to goto the movies with.

So all of this comes from my own internet research, the doctor, and thirdly I’ve started to see a Counselor. The Counselor wants me to focus on short term goals. Things I can get done in a day. It felt good talking to someone about all of this. I should have done this sooner. The Counselor did suggest one thing that I had been thinking about for a while. He wants me to do something creative. I told him about my wanting to be an artist and about this blog. This post is that first step back to some kind of creative drive for myself. I miss having that part of my life where I did create things.

And hopefully I will continue to improve my outlook on life.

Views: 3,550
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